Thank you for taking your time to read the mandatory vacation manual.  As you are aware you will be time traveling backwards in time a d here at TTV we wish you a wonderful (insert reason for vacation here).  Now before you can travel there are some guidelines our History Expert Mr. Larry Milestone has created for your requested era and activities.

Hello,

I was alerted that you showed interest in reaching pre 1700’s dates.   While it is possible it tends to tax the machine and an additional $5,000 will be added to your expenses.  This is a modest fee used to cover extra power consumption and pizza for our IT consultants. 

            I was also alerted that you wished to meet Christopher Columbus.  I think this is a horrible idea.  For starts I am fairly sure that at least one of the crew on that ship had small pox or something was infected.  Granted…not really their fault…but I advise not trying your luck.

            Second Columbus is kinda a dick.  Trust me I met him.  Don’t make any bets with him as he probably will double cross you and keep the money.  Also the whole native people thing doesn’t shine in his favor.  I spoke to a few of them and they didn’t have very nice things to say.

            There are also several things we can’t really discuss if we plan on keeping things PG for this e-mail, but my sources are nothing if not reliable.  In finishing I advise you to not go.  Don’t tell anyone I said that however because the IT guys really want that pizza.